I'm sad to announce the end of danielcrump.blogspot.com
Times are tough and a high value has been placed on danielcrump.blogspot.com. A value I can not afford anymore.
But in light of the terrible news of closing danielcrump.blogspot.com, I am extremely happy to announce the opening of danielwcrump.blogspot.com! Useful Nonsense and the Daniel Crump Blog Show has found a new home and we'd like you to join us there!
Read it, follow it, LOVE IT! Remember, it's danielwcrump.blogspot.com. That w is VERY inportant.
See you there!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Time Flies
It's almost been a year since I last posted. In that time I've been in two relationships, gotten two semesters closer to graduating, held zero jobs and gained zero muscle mass. Sad, I know. So as you can see, I've had little to blog about.
Although, if I had been wise (or incredibly stupid) I could have blogged about my love life. That's never backfired on anyone, right?
NOTE: For the safety and privacy of the parties involved I will be omitting all names. Except mine. But you don't know me. So ... suck it.
L.A.S.
One year ago I started talking to L.A.S. while interning in New York City. We had quasi-known each other from mutual engagements (a.k.a. we were Facebook friends). I decided I wanted to get to know her a little better so we started chatting. I thought she was really cute and she had no idea who I was, so I thought, "What's the worst that could happen??" After chatting all summer we arranged to meet and go on a date when I returned to Texas.
L.A.S. was (and still is) a great girl. She's sweet, she's funny, she's cute and she laughed at my jokes. She had everything I look for in a girl! The one thing that gave me the willies was her friends. L.A.S. was a good girl; her friends were not.
To make a long story short, me not liking her friends was unacceptable to her. It wasn't much acceptable to me, either. We broke up (rather nastily) and don't talk anymore. Pity, I really liked her.
A.C.B.
A.C.B. and I have been friends for about two years. We've always had a good relationship as friends, but when I first met her I knew we could be more than friends. I've never told her this, but I wanted to date A.C.B. from day one. I attempted to date A.C.B. about a month after I broke up with L.A.S. but I wigged out. It felt like bad timing. She forgave me and everything went back to normal. Then I tried again, but got flaky ... again. She was more hesitant to forgive me that time, but still, everything went back to normal.
Nearing the end of the Spring semester I mustered the courage to court her again, this time knowing if I screwed up all ties would be cut. I asked her to Ring Dance, which is a pretty big deal for seniors at Texas A&M. She said yes and we made a night of it. Next thing I know I was flying head-first into one of the best relationships I've ever had. We were laughing together; smiling together; living life together. A.C.B. was the one of best things that happened to me in college.
There's no real way for me to foreshadow what was to come because everything was always so bright. We never fought; we never argued; we never ignored each other for the sake of causing controversy. I was perfectly happy. Then one night, while we were chatting on Facebook, the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan.
I don't want to get into specifics because I'm still a little torn up over it all, but in short, a perfectly good and functioning relationship came to a halt in the matter of five minutes. Part of it was my fault and part of it was her's, but in the long run I suppose what happened was inevitable.
OK, that's all the reminiscing I'm willing to do. Kinda hurts, but hey, that's life. L.A.S and A.C.B., if you've read this (and you know who you are), I'm sorry. For it all. I don't know for what specifically, but I'm sorry. I'm a man; what can I say.
Call me a knucklehead ...
[AUTHOR'S EDIT: A.C.B. asked me to Ring Dance. Minor oversight.]
Although, if I had been wise (or incredibly stupid) I could have blogged about my love life. That's never backfired on anyone, right?
NOTE: For the safety and privacy of the parties involved I will be omitting all names. Except mine. But you don't know me. So ... suck it.
L.A.S.
One year ago I started talking to L.A.S. while interning in New York City. We had quasi-known each other from mutual engagements (a.k.a. we were Facebook friends). I decided I wanted to get to know her a little better so we started chatting. I thought she was really cute and she had no idea who I was, so I thought, "What's the worst that could happen??" After chatting all summer we arranged to meet and go on a date when I returned to Texas.
L.A.S. was (and still is) a great girl. She's sweet, she's funny, she's cute and she laughed at my jokes. She had everything I look for in a girl! The one thing that gave me the willies was her friends. L.A.S. was a good girl; her friends were not.
To make a long story short, me not liking her friends was unacceptable to her. It wasn't much acceptable to me, either. We broke up (rather nastily) and don't talk anymore. Pity, I really liked her.
A.C.B.
A.C.B. and I have been friends for about two years. We've always had a good relationship as friends, but when I first met her I knew we could be more than friends. I've never told her this, but I wanted to date A.C.B. from day one. I attempted to date A.C.B. about a month after I broke up with L.A.S. but I wigged out. It felt like bad timing. She forgave me and everything went back to normal. Then I tried again, but got flaky ... again. She was more hesitant to forgive me that time, but still, everything went back to normal.
Nearing the end of the Spring semester I mustered the courage to court her again, this time knowing if I screwed up all ties would be cut. I asked her to Ring Dance, which is a pretty big deal for seniors at Texas A&M. She said yes and we made a night of it. Next thing I know I was flying head-first into one of the best relationships I've ever had. We were laughing together; smiling together; living life together. A.C.B. was the one of best things that happened to me in college.
There's no real way for me to foreshadow what was to come because everything was always so bright. We never fought; we never argued; we never ignored each other for the sake of causing controversy. I was perfectly happy. Then one night, while we were chatting on Facebook, the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan.
I don't want to get into specifics because I'm still a little torn up over it all, but in short, a perfectly good and functioning relationship came to a halt in the matter of five minutes. Part of it was my fault and part of it was her's, but in the long run I suppose what happened was inevitable.
OK, that's all the reminiscing I'm willing to do. Kinda hurts, but hey, that's life. L.A.S and A.C.B., if you've read this (and you know who you are), I'm sorry. For it all. I don't know for what specifically, but I'm sorry. I'm a man; what can I say.
Call me a knucklehead ...
[AUTHOR'S EDIT: A.C.B. asked me to Ring Dance. Minor oversight.]
Friday, July 31, 2009
It was damn good.
So I’m not one to boast (or brag or gloat of kick small children) but my three-part series, “This better be damn good” was damn good. The word around the office (and the internets) is my series was a huge success. So a big THANK YOU to those who read it and have been reading from the very beginning. Your support is what keeps me typing away.
Today I’ve been furiously trying to order t-shirts from a website a friend of mine created. The shirts are hilariously funny and would look really good on my body-builder frame. The only “hitch in my giddyup” is the darn check out process. I forgot to enter my zip code and the entire site freaks out. I think it might’ve killed the internet, too. So now I have to wait even longer. Worse yet, I had an exclusive coupon for my first order, but I completely blew it! Now I have wait to receive another coupon.
But I highly suggest you check it out. http://www.rugbunnies.com Order three or more shirts and get free shipping!
Today is a rather momentous day in my New York City internship. My lovely mom and super gay brother are coming up to visit me on the last weekend I’ll be here. I couldn’t be more excited; but honestly, I have no idea what I’m going to have them do while here! I mean, I know of several restaurants I want to take them to and various spots around town that are nice. Plus, I’ll be the only one proficient at the art of subway riding. But they’re expecting me to cart them around and make this the best weekend ever! If you know of something we could do together, please, please, please comment with your suggestions. I (and they) will greatly appreciate it.
UPDATE: I’ve just received my new coupon code for rugbunnies.com and will be placing my order shortly! Thanks Jeff and the staff at RugBunnies!
How about a comment poll? Simply post “YES” or “NO” as a comment to the question: Should Daniel Crump add fiction to his blog? If the response is overwhelming, and by overwhelming I mean at least three comments, I will begin writing fiction (as best I can) and posting it on my blog. That, my friends, will be true Useful Nonsense.
For Jason Staggs, I’m Daniel Crump. Goodbye.
Today I’ve been furiously trying to order t-shirts from a website a friend of mine created. The shirts are hilariously funny and would look really good on my body-builder frame. The only “hitch in my giddyup” is the darn check out process. I forgot to enter my zip code and the entire site freaks out. I think it might’ve killed the internet, too. So now I have to wait even longer. Worse yet, I had an exclusive coupon for my first order, but I completely blew it! Now I have wait to receive another coupon.
But I highly suggest you check it out. http://www.rugbunnies.com Order three or more shirts and get free shipping!
Today is a rather momentous day in my New York City internship. My lovely mom and super gay brother are coming up to visit me on the last weekend I’ll be here. I couldn’t be more excited; but honestly, I have no idea what I’m going to have them do while here! I mean, I know of several restaurants I want to take them to and various spots around town that are nice. Plus, I’ll be the only one proficient at the art of subway riding. But they’re expecting me to cart them around and make this the best weekend ever! If you know of something we could do together, please, please, please comment with your suggestions. I (and they) will greatly appreciate it.
UPDATE: I’ve just received my new coupon code for rugbunnies.com and will be placing my order shortly! Thanks Jeff and the staff at RugBunnies!
How about a comment poll? Simply post “YES” or “NO” as a comment to the question: Should Daniel Crump add fiction to his blog? If the response is overwhelming, and by overwhelming I mean at least three comments, I will begin writing fiction (as best I can) and posting it on my blog. That, my friends, will be true Useful Nonsense.
For Jason Staggs, I’m Daniel Crump. Goodbye.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
This better be damn good, Part Three.
Welcome back. I now present you with part three of, "This better be damn good." Being the final part in my three-part series, I thought I'd leave you with a rather opinion-filled diatribe. Let me know if that's the right word for what you're going to read.
-Thirdly, I've realized both the futility and lucrativeness of being homeless. The Coalition For the Homeless in New York City estimates the number of homeless people living in New York to be more than 109,000. And, according to the Coalition, more than 36,600 homeless men, women, and children were sleeping each night in New York City municipal shelters, including 15,800 children, 14,100 adult family members, and 6,700 single adults. Thousands more sleep rough on city streets, in public parks, in the subway system, and in other public spaces. Now, if you'd talk to me personally about my views on homelessness, you'd find that I feel very strongly about the issue. I won't say here if I support the homeless or not, but after talking to me you'll quickly find out how I feel. Everyday on my journey to work, I must pass at least 10 homeless people; all begging, pleading even, for some sort of monetary donation. There's no doubt that any amount of money would help them eat for that day, but let's face reality here: No one is going to give you enough money to get off the streets and no one but you can get yourself a job. No matter how hard you beg and panhandle for pocket change, you're going to remain on the streets and in shelters until you get yourself a job. That's the futility of homelessness.
Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, "Didn't he mention something about the lucrativeness of homelessness?" Well, my faithful followers, let me give you a little anecdote. While waiting in line for Grimaldi's Pizza, the number one rated pizza in all of New York (and yes, free pizza will be accepted), I witnessed a young boy and girl sitting on the sidewalk with a baseball cap turned upside down, collecting money. At first glance, one would see a desperate young brother and sister, only 10 and 15 or so, homeless, without a family or anyone to support them and in dire need to someone's generous assistance. I myself was even feeling bad for the two. So my daring friend, Nicole, decided to sit down next to the little boy and girl and just chat with them about life. We could see that the conversation started to get rather interesting, because who starts laughing when talking to homeless kids? After about five or so minutes, Nicole came back to the group and reported her findings. To everyone's surprise, the kids weren't homeless at all! The boy and girl were visiting New York with their family, and even waiting in the same line to Grimaldi's. To pass the time (and to entertain their family, I suppose) the two decided to sit on the sidewalk, look desperate, and collect people's money. They were willfully taking advantage of people's kindheartedness, just to entertain themselves. So that made me wonder: how many people, out of the 100,000 or so, are actually homeless and how many are just faking it to get some easy cash and pass the summer days? Sure, you may only get a few dollars, and even the company of a compassionate passerby. But there's still something to say for faking being homeless. And that's the lucrativeness of homelessness.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed my three part look at some of the things I've learned while living in New York. I can assure you, the lessons I've learned are way more valuable than any school education, but number too many to list here.
So for Dan Rather, Dan Rather Reports, HDNet, and all the little faking homeless kids out there,
I'm Daniel Crump. Gig'em.
-Thirdly, I've realized both the futility and lucrativeness of being homeless. The Coalition For the Homeless in New York City estimates the number of homeless people living in New York to be more than 109,000. And, according to the Coalition, more than 36,600 homeless men, women, and children were sleeping each night in New York City municipal shelters, including 15,800 children, 14,100 adult family members, and 6,700 single adults. Thousands more sleep rough on city streets, in public parks, in the subway system, and in other public spaces. Now, if you'd talk to me personally about my views on homelessness, you'd find that I feel very strongly about the issue. I won't say here if I support the homeless or not, but after talking to me you'll quickly find out how I feel. Everyday on my journey to work, I must pass at least 10 homeless people; all begging, pleading even, for some sort of monetary donation. There's no doubt that any amount of money would help them eat for that day, but let's face reality here: No one is going to give you enough money to get off the streets and no one but you can get yourself a job. No matter how hard you beg and panhandle for pocket change, you're going to remain on the streets and in shelters until you get yourself a job. That's the futility of homelessness.
Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, "Didn't he mention something about the lucrativeness of homelessness?" Well, my faithful followers, let me give you a little anecdote. While waiting in line for Grimaldi's Pizza, the number one rated pizza in all of New York (and yes, free pizza will be accepted), I witnessed a young boy and girl sitting on the sidewalk with a baseball cap turned upside down, collecting money. At first glance, one would see a desperate young brother and sister, only 10 and 15 or so, homeless, without a family or anyone to support them and in dire need to someone's generous assistance. I myself was even feeling bad for the two. So my daring friend, Nicole, decided to sit down next to the little boy and girl and just chat with them about life. We could see that the conversation started to get rather interesting, because who starts laughing when talking to homeless kids? After about five or so minutes, Nicole came back to the group and reported her findings. To everyone's surprise, the kids weren't homeless at all! The boy and girl were visiting New York with their family, and even waiting in the same line to Grimaldi's. To pass the time (and to entertain their family, I suppose) the two decided to sit on the sidewalk, look desperate, and collect people's money. They were willfully taking advantage of people's kindheartedness, just to entertain themselves. So that made me wonder: how many people, out of the 100,000 or so, are actually homeless and how many are just faking it to get some easy cash and pass the summer days? Sure, you may only get a few dollars, and even the company of a compassionate passerby. But there's still something to say for faking being homeless. And that's the lucrativeness of homelessness.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed my three part look at some of the things I've learned while living in New York. I can assure you, the lessons I've learned are way more valuable than any school education, but number too many to list here.
So for Dan Rather, Dan Rather Reports, HDNet, and all the little faking homeless kids out there,
I'm Daniel Crump. Gig'em.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
This better be damn good, Part Two.
Welcome back. This is part two of my exclusive three-part series, "This better be damn good." You see, here at Dan Rather Reports with Dan Rather, we have a lot of time on our hands to write insightful stories about interesting and relevant topics. Today, I've chosen to tell you something I've learned while living in New York City. While this is neither insightful nor interesting, and probably far from relevant, you may still consider it Useful Nonsense.
-Second is Japanese food. I now know why Japanese people live so long and are so friendly: their food is utterly delicious! There's a Japanese bookstore right down the street from my office, and there happens to be a quaint little cafe on the second floor. It's rarely busy right before lunchtime (which is an oddity for New York City) and my favorite meal is always in-stock. I prefer the "chicken bento," or "bento box" to New Yorkers, but I plan on expanding my international cuisine horizons in the near future. Plus, I've become quite handy at using chopsticks. That's something I've always aspired to become proficient at. I won't mention the name of the bookstore because, frankly, I'm a little afraid of the Japanese mafia. Think of Kill Bill, only with more little Japanese men running around with katanas. But if you've never tried Japanese food before I highly recommend you find some. And eat it. You will be happier and will live longer. Maybe.
Check back tomorrow for part three of, "This better be damn good." I promise, I've saved the best for last!
Crump out. Oh, and Dan Rather. Thanks!
-Second is Japanese food. I now know why Japanese people live so long and are so friendly: their food is utterly delicious! There's a Japanese bookstore right down the street from my office, and there happens to be a quaint little cafe on the second floor. It's rarely busy right before lunchtime (which is an oddity for New York City) and my favorite meal is always in-stock. I prefer the "chicken bento," or "bento box" to New Yorkers, but I plan on expanding my international cuisine horizons in the near future. Plus, I've become quite handy at using chopsticks. That's something I've always aspired to become proficient at. I won't mention the name of the bookstore because, frankly, I'm a little afraid of the Japanese mafia. Think of Kill Bill, only with more little Japanese men running around with katanas. But if you've never tried Japanese food before I highly recommend you find some. And eat it. You will be happier and will live longer. Maybe.
Check back tomorrow for part three of, "This better be damn good." I promise, I've saved the best for last!
Crump out. Oh, and Dan Rather. Thanks!
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